Chased Into the Darkness
by LoveisLoud
Summary: When the Light turns against Hermione and she's running from those she used to call her friends, she takes refuge with the same person she originally fought against. Now a follower of the darkness, under the protection of Voldemort, Hermione must be trained in the way of the Death Eaters. She is placed with the self-widowed Bellatrix Black. Unexpected friendship blossoms. F/F
1. Chapter 1: The Betrayal

Chapter 1: Betrayed

"Brightest Witch of Her Age" was the title that the Wizard community gave me. I never asked for it, though it was flattering. Sometimes I really hated it; too much pressure to do everything right and never make a mistake. I was never supposed to question the Order, only to follow their orders and not screw up, because it was always an issue of life and death.

And that's exactly what I did. I followed orders and lived up to my name. But, I was sadly mistaken in my endeavors. It was all pointless because I was easily dispensable and didn't even know it.

My decisions were all well thought out; I wasn't one to just dive into anything without reason and thinking ahead. I wasn't stupid, I was just backed into a corner and had to get out.

My friends turned against me, the Order lied to me, Dumbledore used me. I was just a little girl to them.

Utterly replaceable.

So, saying that, understand that every choice I had to make was because I had no other choice.

I was chased here.

I was chased into the darkness.

It was no one's fault but their own.

"You were a sacrifice for the greater good."

He blinked and popped a lemon drop in his mouth, then continued, "I am deeply sorry for what has happened, but you must understand that it had to happen."

My body was shaking, I was appalled.

"Professor!" I rung out, finally finding my voice. "This..This..What happened wasn't for the greater good! No one found anything! No one captured anyone! 3 week!" I swallowed the lump in my throat, " 3 whole goddamned weeks. Merlin's beard, can't any of of you see that that was a terrible plan? I could've told you that if you would've informed me before throwing me to the wolves. Considering I was the only one affected!" I breathed out, looking around at the people in the room.

The people I called my friends. The people who avoided eye contact at all costs.

"Do any of you know what I went through locked up with Dolohov?" No one said a word. "Huh? No one?!" I screamed. My face felt hot. It felt like no one could hear me. Like no one cared.

"Hermione, you must grasp tha-" Dumbledore began. I wasn't going to let him downplay my torture.

"No!" My voice cracked, I turned to him, "You don't get to say anything! You weren't there. You don't have to feel his hands on you every second of the day. You don't have to see the dreams I dream. Because you, oh magnificent Dumbledore, were here! Sitting on your ass, while I was out there filthy! Being ruined in every way by a merciless death eater. It's not fair! I didn't get a say in this." Tears streamed down my cheeks, my eyes burned, and my throat was sore.

"Oi, come off of it, Hermione!" Ron yelled out. His face was red, and his expression angry. "For being the brightest bitch of our age, you're a bloody idiot."

It was silent for a good 10 seconds.

"Ron! I could've died!"

"Fred didn't have a say in whether or not he was to die!" Ginny, the only girl best friend I had, shouted. Her eyes held hatred and her stare held no pity for her dirty, bloody friend.

"My parents and Sirius didn't have a say!" Harry joined.

"My brothers' didn't have any say!" Molly conformed.

I was speechless. Were they really justifying my planned assault because of their lost loved ones? I didn't understand. These were my friends, they were supposed to hug me and comfort me and tell me that I wasn't ruined. But they didn't. They made me feel worse.

The bashing continued. Names rung from their mouths, some familiar, some not.

"The Longbottoms!"

"Edgar Bones!"

"Marta Pentick!"

"Edna and Bilius Caratoc!"

The list went on and on.

I could only look on at my "friends" as they made me feel even more like shit than I already did, Dumbledore sitting back in his chair nonchalantly, popping more lemon drops in his mouth.

He had no intention of stopping them. Of comforting me. Of protecting me.

"I have no obligation to protect you, Hermione." He must have been using legilimens. "My only job is to secure the life of Harry Potter and secure the world of magic. You are not on that list."

I was seeing red, and definitely not the rosy kind.

My heart was hurting and my body was in pain, and all anyone could do is keep kicking me. They kept kicking me while I was down.

Most of their screams consisted of words like "selfish, "bitch", "know-it-all", "useless"...

And "mudblood."

My sanity had been holding on my the strings that hoped for relief through those I believe cared about me. Now, the strings have been snapped.

I brought my wand up, gripping it hard in my hand, and without hesitation, began casting curse and disarming my, now, opponents. I wasn't thinking some much about wanting them dead, I only wished for them to understand my pain.

"Stupefy!" Ginny fell to the ground with a thump.

"Expelliarmus!" Molly's wand came to my hand.

"Conjunctivitis!" Dumbledore stumble around, his eyesight gone, wand on the ground.

"Flipendo!" Harry went flying backwards into the cathedral ceilings.

The curses began getting worse from here. I don't know what I was thinking, only to punish.

It was obvious that no one was prepared for my wrath, because these usually very talented duelers were clueless as to how to protect themselves.

"Furnunculus!" Ron's face became boiled and blistering.

"Incendio!" Dumbledore's office was set ablaze.

The screams got louder as everyone panicked. Everyone but me, that is. I knew just what I was doing.

After being tortured mercilessly for 3 weeks, I learned from the best. I knew how to inflict scorching agony without so much as a flick of the wrist.

"Immobilis!" Molly went rigid.

"Mobilicorpus!" Molly's body went into the air, turning my wrist to the right she smashed into the wall.

"Mum!" Ron shouted. Harry and Ron looked back to me with fear in their eyes, "Are you mad! Stop this, we're your friends you bloody bint!" Ron yelled, blood and pus pouring down his face from his bursted boils and warts.

I laughed. It was so uncharacteristic, but it felt so good to cackle out at their anxiety and dread.

"Are you? Are you, really?!" I yelled back, furious at their accusation that I was in the wrong. I mean, I know I probably shouldn't be hexing them, but they had it coming. I expected love and consolence and got degradation. They expected for me to be pushed over easily and I attacked. There have been too many unexpected occurrences. So unexpected that I am only going along with my body. I'm not choosing to hurt them, my heart is. My heart wants to see them cowering in fear like I was for 3 weeks straight. I want them to feel helpless as I did for 3 weeks straight. I want them to feel weak.

"Yes, Hermione. Of cour-AHHH!" Harry and Ron both dropped to the ground, twitching.

I stood there in awe at myself.

I just crucioed my best mates. The only two people who ever were kind to me. But, then again, even our friendship was based on them being uncontrollably gits with asshole tendencies. I would've never been attacked by that damned troll if they weren't. Everything bad that has ever happened to me had something to do with them being involved.

It wasn't fair. I was nothing but a good friend to them and they were nothing but dangers to me.

I just stared at them on the ground, squirming in the excruciating pain I knew best.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

"Expelliarmus!" Dumbledore spelled, pointing his wand at me, eyes wandering still without sight.

"Protego!" His wand flew from his hands, "You're better than this Dumbledore. Are you not supposed to be the best wizard ever? No wonder Voldemort's winning this war. It's because you underestimate those around you and you lie like a serpent." I smirked, happy to see the flicker of bewilderment in his eyes.

"Hermione, listen to me, you mus-"

"No! You listen to me!" My voice was booming, then came to a gentle purr, "You planned for my demise, you watched as I was ripped to pieces by those who are meant to be my family." I looked over to Ron and Harry. The hex had long been taken off, but they were knocked out in exhaustion.

"It was for-"

"I know! I know! 'It was for the greater good'." I shook my head.

The red and blues of the fire reflected off of the marble walls and pillars. The men and women in the portraits joined in the screaming at the flames starting licking at their canvases.

Ginny and Molly Weasley's bodies were getting a bit fried. I waved my wand toward them to wake them up.

I could hear their chattering and steps in the background, but I knew I was safe for the next 5 minutes while they assessed Harry and Ron.

It was always about Harry and Ron.

I sighed, "You people say that muggles are cruel? Do you see what you've made me become. Do you see what I am doing!" I was shaking a bit, but not in fear, in rage.

"You can stop, Hermione. You can make all of this end right now, just...just give me the wand." Dumbledore's face was sweaty with the heat of the room.

I shook my head no.

"Expecto Patronum!" I turned to look at where the sound came from.

Harry. He was awake and summoning the Order for back-up.

I had to work quick, they were sure to kill me.

There was no going back now.

Looking back at Dumbledore, I replied to his offer, "No professor. There's no going back for me. But I'm going to make sure that there isn't any going back for you either. Goodbye, professor."

He shook his head rapidly, running at me. "No. No! Hermione, no!"

"Avada Kedavra!" The green light shot from my wand and into his chest, his body absorbing it.

Then, he plopped onto the hard marble floor.

"Aguamenti." I heard Ginny put out the fire.

The whooshes of Order members arriving moved the air.

I looked at Harry in the eye as he now stood in front of me. I didn't see him coming but he was there staring at me.

"Why, Hermione, why?" He begged. As if he didn't already know.

I smiled genuinely at him, tears and sorrow gone, only thrill and power coursing through my veins. "It was for the greater good, Harry."

I could see the member closing in on me, running to me.

I let out a breath, then apparated from the castle with no idea what to do or where to go.

She couldn't take refuge anywhere. She was now wanted by the Order and the ministry, probably, for murder. And she was a mudblood, the most famous one, so the Dark wasn't going to help.

She was completely alone.


	2. Chapter 2: Decisions, Decisions

Chapter 2: Decisions, Decisions

Any idiot would know not to hide in the Forbidden Forest. It was more dangerous than the outside world with it's creatures alone. That's why I've been staying here for 3 days now. No one would suspect the "Brightest Bitch of Her Age", as Ron called me, to stay somewhere so treacherous. But I didn't have any other options to pick from, this was the only one I had.

It was colder than a ghoul's balls on the wet, icy ground. I had no blankets for warmth and my wand broke shortly after arriving, so there wasn't much hope for shelter or fire. Everything I had ever owned was in my trunk at Hogwarts. Which I was sure was gone by now, not that I blame them. If someone were to attack me the way I did to them, I look for any type of retaliation possible, even if their clothes, books, and muggle devices were all I could get my hands on.

Oh my goodness! My books!

All of my precious books, gone.

Crookshanks!

Probably gone too or at least taken, never to be seen again.

The waterworks started again.

Maybe I shouldn't have reacted so badly. I should have just taken it like a soldier instead of turning into a crazy bitch.

No.

No, I wasn't regretting anything, just regretting that I didn't have a dry, warm room to lie in, a soft bed to sleep in, or at least a book to read to occupy myself. I was alone with only my thoughts to keep me company.

Now I know why Bellatrix Lestrange was so insane. If I had to endure 14 years of this, I'd probably be nuts too.

I was famished. My stomach constantly rolling.

Ha! You'd think that the first thing Molly would do when I was found was cook and feed me. But, that was obviously an ill-conceived thought.

So, I lie here on the cold forest floor, burrowing under a heap of grass,dirt, and sticks to avoid the rainfall. I didn't want any sickness to add insult to injury. I needed to survive and figure out how to do so without being captured and put to death.

I haven't come across any centaurs or acromantulas, thank Merlin. I don't know what my plan would have been if I were to. I was defenseless without my wand, I was too weak physically to actually hurt anyone with my hands.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep a bit. A hard task it proved to be with the worry of losing your life squeezing the back of your neck. However, the gods must have taken pity on me because I surely was knocked out a few minutes later.

My dreams weren't anything special, if that's what you're wandering. Just faces and words.

Voldemort's face.

Dumbledore's face.

Harry's face.

Ron's face.

Green lights.

Avada Kedavra.

SNAP!

I was awake immediately, trying to ball myself deeper into the den o' dirt I made for myself.

Silence. I was as silent as could be, my breathing the only thing making a sound. It seemed that heavy breathing was all that was needed because I surely was caught.

"Please...please don't hurt me. Please." I pleaded. All of my rage and energy from that eventful day, gone. I was but a blubbering mess hoping for some mercy.

"Granger?" I knew that voice. I knew those shoes, I thought as they came into sight, right in front of me.

I looked up, craning my neck to confirm the identity.

"Malfoy? What..what are you doing here?" I asked. Swallowing, I continued, "Are turning me in? To the Order? To the Ministry of Magic? Please, Malfoy, please don-"

"Oh, quit the beggary, Granger. It's not becoming of a Gryffindor." Draco Malfoy snarked snottily, "I'm not going to do anything to you."

I crawled from my makeshift home.

After struggling to stand, with no help from Malfoy mind you, I was erect and looking pointedly at him. Why would ferret-boy come to find me?

"What do you want, Malfoy?" I spat haughtily. My fisted were balled and my body was in defense mode, even though I knew I had no chance in winning any fight.

I haven't noticed before, but Malfoy was muscular; his chest larger than I ever took note of.

"As someone wanted by every Dark and Light wizard on Earth, I would be a lot more tethered." Malfoy smirked, looking down at me with his hands behind his back playfully.

"What do you want?" I questioned. I wasn't trying to play games with him, only to get answers. Answers that meant life or death. I mentally shook my head, still with the life and death.

"I don't want anything." He replied, sticking his hands into his pockets, walking around slowly, "The Dark Lord wants you."

My blood ran cold. I always knew that Voldemort's side would try to rid of me at any given moment, but now that I don't have the protection of the Order, my ass was grass.

I slowly began taking steps to the right, planning of a way to run without being caught.

"Ah ah ahh." Malfoy teased, pointing his wand at me, "Locomotor Mortis."

My legs locked, no longer voluntary body parts, but an enemy of my own person.

I knew better than to struggle, that would only lead to me falling over. This was magic, not fallible ropes.

"I will not be joining you to my death, Malfoy." I said calmly.

He came to stand in front of me, his robes billowing in the wind. It was only drizzling now.

I immediately recognized those robes.

Those were Death Eater robes.

I was as good as dead, especially without my wand; I was too weak for any kind of wandless magic.

"Did you hear me say anything about your death, Mudblood?" I only stared at him, waiting for the joined apparation that would lead me to Voldemort and my murder, "You always were an insufferable know-it-all. An embarrassment even to muggles." He shook his head.

"No, no murder. He actually has a...preposition for you." Malfoy explained enigmatically.

Grabbing my arm, we were sucked into a whirl of transportation.

My heart was thumping as we landing on the black floor. It was intimidating and threatening. The exact reflection of who resided here.

I was scared to look up, too frightened to see my end.

I felt Malfoy's presence disappear, no doubt apparating from the squelching sounds of the space next to me.

It was warm. Too warm. I shivered at the shock of it.

It was definitely a relief to not feel the damp frigidness of the Forbidden Forest anymore, though.

"Lift your head." His surprisingly smooth voice commanded softly.

I wasn't much for hesitation, so I snapped my head up.

I was in a dining room. A long, dark table where respectful, expensive chairs sat.

At the far end, a young man sat.

His black hair neatly slicked to the side, handsomely, dark eyes cold and calculating, his lips upturned in a grin. His nose...there.

This wasn't the Voldemort I fought before. The Voldemort I had fought was thin and snake-like. Red eyes and a flat, serpentine nose. This was a handsome young man of about 25 or younger with his voice.

There was no doubt that this was Voldemort, though. He had his essence, his slyness. His soul.

It was an understatement to say I was shocked.

Him sitting there in a wizarding suit with a thick, long snake laying on his shoulders leisurely. The dark green and black drapes were hanging off from the walls with 2 great gray fireplaces running on either side.

"Please, come and sit." Voldemort gestured to the seat to the right of him. He returned his hand to a neat fold on the table.

The quiet was almost deafening.

'I guess I don't have much of a choice, might as well comply,' was my only thought.

"Good idea, Ms. Granger." He sounded. I was getting pretty sick of people just trekking into my mind whenever they wanted to. I pulled up my occlumency and hid my thoughts.

I slowly walked to the gestured chair, that sat beside Voldemort himself. I was cautious, even though I knew that I was to be killed whenever he decided, I at least wanted to be prepared.

I pulled the chair from under the table and lowered myself onto the seat.

"You're a smart young lady, Hermione Granger."

"So they say." I said back cockily. I was going to die anyway, why not have fun?

He chuckled to himself while the snake hissed at me, "Calm down, Nagi." He cooed at the python, petting its head, "So, tell me, smart girl, why did you decide to kill Dumbledore and attack the your own Harry Potter clan? It was quite the splendid surprise. Did you not know you would be hunted like a dragon?"

I sighed, "It wasn't my first thought, if that's what you're asking." I looked into my lap.

"Well, please do inform me. What was?" This question made me freeze. He knew exactly what started it.

Voldemort was the reason Dolohov had me in the first place.

"To...hurt those...who hurt me." It was a simple, but weighted response.

"I know what happened, Hermione." I looked up at him, "In your time of utmost need, your friends turned their backs on you with only the spurn of lost loved ones fueling them." He continued, "After being tortured for 21 days by Dolohov; slashed, beaten, stabbed, violated, strangled, flagellated, starved, electrocuted, urinated on-"

"Please." I entreated, I couldn't take anymore of reliving those days, "Please stop."

Voldemort was silent for a little, but I quickly learned that he wasn't one to do so very long.

Who knew that the Dark Lord was a chatty Cathy?

"I apologize. If it's any solace, I did not order that of him. He was meant to be teaching the fledglings the ways of the Dark Arts, not abducting you." It did give me a little bit of closure, "If he would have brought you here when he initially captured you, it would be a different story." I looked up at him, "You and I both know such. I don't beat, I don't strangle, and I definitely do not rape." The word struck through me like lightning. I looked back down "Those are muggle methods. No elite pureblood would ever stoop to that level of savagery. That's why I've rid of him."

That was news.

Voldemort killed Dolohov? For hurting me? That gave me great pleasure.

Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, I thought. He only killed him for going against his orders.

"It was a bad decision to put him head of the learners, anyway. He was always weak to his desires. That's why I put Bellatrix in charge of them. I would have done it in the first place but she was...in a surgery of sorts. Bellatrix is also who you'll be partnered with until you learn our ways. I expect you to be compliant. Because of your...muggleborn status, you will not be taken to easily, you'll have to prove you-"

What was he getting on about? I wasn't staying here! On his side!

"Whoa whoa whoa, what are you talking about? I'm not becoming the follower of an evil man who wishes to kill my kind! Are you crazy? Why would you even believe such a thing? I'm a muggle born for Merlin's sake." I was flabbergasted. I mean, come on, who wouldn't be when the man that has always sought to kill you offers to take you in? This didn't make sense. He hated all non-purebloods. Why would he keep me alive, and well too?

"Ms. Granger, you do understand that you are hunted for now, correct?" I nodded, "You have no where to run and no where to hide. Your parents' have no clue who you are, the Weasley's would burn you alive if you were to show up their door. I am your only hope. I shall not underestimate my opponent as the Order has to you. You are an asset, any idiot knows that. I am but a businessman, what kind of businessman would I be if I were to let you go? A very unsuccessful one that is."

I didn't say anything, I was taking it all in. It seemed that he knew everything.

I really didn't have anywhere to go and if he could find me in the Forbidden Forest that easily, than I'd be dead before I could blink.

"You cannot tell me that you have never be interested in the Dark Arts. Every great witch or wizard has. You seek knowledge as any great witch or wizard does also. We will not commend you for such a wonderful trait. A "know-it-all" survives it all."

Still...nothing to say. I couldn't deny that. I had some books from the Restricted Section in my trunk back at Hogwarts I was reading. They were very informative and compelling, and I wanted to know everything I could. I didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing, just an...intellectual thing. Something Harry and Ron would never understand.

"We could train you and teach you everything you have ever wanted to know. Show you everything you have ever wanted to see. Take you everywhere you have ever wanted to is no bad magic. All magic is good magic because it's magic. Magic is knowledge and knowledge is power and power is authority and authority is ultimate reign. Tell me that you wouldn't wish for unlimited knowledge. Tell me that when you saw Dumbledore's soul leave his eyes, you did not feel the thrill of power running through you! Tell me you didn't feel the rush. The rush that people string themselves on flesh-deteriorating toxins to feel. Tell me!"

I couldn't deny this either. I felt it. I felt it all over. It was almost an aphrodisiac, adrenaline, endorphins, heroine all in one wand. The knowledge part was appealing, too. Could you imagine? Everything I have ever wanted to research with no worries.

"See? No one will hurt you here, I'll make sure of it. Nagini here is really just a softie to those she knows she is safe with. The Order tells stories of me torturing my Death Eaters. I do no such thing, I promise you. I don't have to torture anyone. The only reason I kill any of my own, is for the sole fact that they have done something threaten this party or to leave us all vulnerable. I use love and compassion to keep my followers. They follow me because they know that I will keep them safe and lead them to salvation. I shall do the same for you, for us. My army is a fraternity of sorts. We are brothers and sisters here. Brotherhood is the way of life. You will be cared for. You will be loved. You will be safe. I can guarantee it."

Still so much to think about.

So far, if I stay:

I have to join the Death Eaters

I have to be trained as a follower of Voldemort

I have to fight against my previous companions

I have to stay with Bellatrix Lestrange all the time

I'll be safe

I'll be cared for

I'll be unrestricted

I could learn anything

I could try anything

I could see anything

It all sounded pretty good, but how do I know that this was the truth? How did I know that I wasn't being set up for failure like before?

"If it would help, I would be willing to have an Unbreakable Vow performed. I am a man of my word." He solved.

Okay, solution found.

Now, what if I don't want to do this? What if I choose not to conform to this, then what?

"If you decide not to join us, you will be put to death." He chimed, "We can't have any chances that someone as invaluable as yourself be reunited with the Order, can we?"

So, no options. It was this or death, it was lose/lose situation...or maybe not. This could be a good thing.

Voldemort said that the Order was wrong when they said that he tortured his followers, and now with the insight that the Order is formed from lies, it wasn't all that far fetched. I mean, at one point, I never would have thought they would purposely have me tortured with no viable outcome, but it happened, did it not?

After much pondering, I finally made my decision.

"Voldemort?" I called.

"Please, call me Tom." He told me. Tom did make more sense now that he looked like a real person.

"No, "My Lord"?" I asked. It was an honest question. I've hear his followers call him "Lord" plenty of times. I wasn't sure if I was willing to conform to that kind of submission.

"Those who do choose to do such. I don't do force when it comes to life out of our secular work. Outside of planning, missions, et cetera et cetera, we are very casual. I wish only for servitude once my mark is take upon its bearer. My mark is a ...contract. You chose to serve me, you must serve me. But, just an addition," He licked his lips. He was so handsome, it was almost unsettling, "It is not a one-sided agreement. My protection and my funding is what I bring to the platform. It's also a form of an Unbreakable Vow."

I guess he really wanted to tell me everything, because he seemed to love "additions". But, I'll say, it did help with the lucidness of this idea.

"I'll do it." I nodded while saying it, almost for normality more than clarity, "I'll be...whatever this is."

"Oh, splendid!" Tom clapped his hands together and sat back in his chair. "This shall be an exciting experience for both parties, will it not?" He was excited, that was for sure.

His smile and laugh made me pretty excited too.

I couldn't help but be.

This decision was like a boulder off my shoulders and lungs. It was magnificent.

I was actually...proud. Tom did seem like a respectable leader, but I suppose I should still be on guard. I thought Dumbledore was pretty respectable also, at a time. I didn't want my naivety to ruin my life. But, this was my only chance at life.

No.

No

No.

You already made the decision, Hermione. There is no going back, so just stop thinking about it. Worse come to worse, you die. Which was going to happen anyway. I thought to myself. I sure was encouraging, wasn't I?

"So, will we be...eating any time soon?" I inquired after all the original hype was lowered. My hunger was temporarily forgotten, but wasn't into not being unnoticed, that's for sure.

"Of course! You must be ravenous." He swallowed, running his hand through his hair. "Pookie!"

A house elf appeared. She was wearing a little blue dress and white flats. Another shock, wow.

You'd think that the pureblood psycho would treat house elves like shit.

"Yes, milord." She curtsied. Pookie was too cute.

Tom gestured his hand in my direction, indicating me, "Please, escort Ms. Granger here somewhere to get freshened. Oh and find some clothes for her. Some simple, yet elegant."

"Yes, milord." She curtsied again, walked over to me meekly, grabbed my left hand and, like that, we were in a different room.

I bathed, something I relished in. I still had blood and sweat from my time with Dolohov on my skin. That's how long I have gone without a good bathing.

I felt like a new person in a new skin, clean.

Pookie washed my hair and scrubbed my filthy feet, something that was a lot like tickle torture. We had a good laugh.

After she dried me, she snapped her fingers 4 times. These were crucial to my transformation of dirty, filthy refugee, to a sophisticated, serene, Death Eater. Death Eater's may have been terrible before, but were always known for their aristocratic appearance, something I was delving into.

Snap no. 1: Hair dried and pulled into a lovely updo that made me look far older than my 22 year old self actually was.

Snap no. 2: Make-up donned my face. Not heavy, just eyeliner, mascara, rouge, and some blood red lipstick. I looked stunning. It was almost as if I was a whole other person.

Even before all of these series of incidents occurred, I was a homely girl. My bushy hair was everywhere and makeup was a luxury that I didn't have time for.

Snap no. 3 and 4: A forest green dress appeared on me, the fourth snap making it snug to my body. Every curve defined and enhanced. With this war going on, I almost forgot how feminine my body had become. With nothing but brutes surrounding you, it was easy to do so. I had grown from my teenage body to a woman's. Full breasts, widened hips, toned tummy and legs from running everywhere. My hair and skin came back to life, with color and luster.

The dress was strapless with long sleeves off the shoulder. It was tight all the way down to my knees, there it flowed out. It was a solid color dress. No designs. No sparkles. No sashes. I loved it.

I was ecstatic. Everything was falling into place.

"You look beautiful, Miss." Pookie admired, looking with me into the full size mirror.

"Thank you, Pookie. But, please, call me Hermione. All that "miss" stuff makes me feel old." I joked. I wanted Pookie to understand that I wasn't her superior without scaring her as house elves sometimes get.

"Yes, Hermione." She smiled, then took my left hand again, "Please, come. Hermione must attend dinner. The Inner Circle are just dying to meet Ms. Hermione-oh. Hermione."

And again we were back to the dining room.

This time though, the table was filled with a bounty large enough to feed a continent. If the smell was any indication, it was delicious.

The only other difference was the fact that Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, Bartemius Crouch Jr, Yaxley, Scabior, and Fenrir Greyback were staring at me.

Some with hate. Some with confusion. Others with disgust. The remainder with lust.

I couldn't interpret Bellatrix's expression. It was guarded as she gazed. I wasn't aware that when I came back it would be full of well seasoned Death Eater's until Pookie said so .5 seconds before apparating, but I would have expected Bellatrix to be the one most open with her thoughts and opinions on me.

"You look lovely, Ms. Granger." Tom welcomed, "Please, sit." He gestured to the same seat I sat in when I first arrived.

I was hesitant in my journey. I've never been around so many Death Eater's without getting ready to be terrorized. As Tom had said earlier, this was a brotherhood I was now apart of.

I sat down. To my left was Tom, to my right was Lucius Malfoy, and directly in front of me was the ever staring Bellatrix Lestrange.

And she was smiling at me.

A genuine, friendly smile.

This going to be odd.

Thank you EVERYONE for the wonderful reviews. Nothing made me type faster and more joyous than seeing that my work is appreciated. Thank you again!

Chapter 2 WOOHOO!


	3. Author's Note

I'm so sorry guys for not updating. As some of you know, I'm expecting my first child.

I am due January 28th and I'm having some difficulties. I am in a lot of discomfort and My body makes the nastiest sounds.

Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is great, just too long.

So bear with me, Because this baby may be coming out a lot sooner than we thought.

I'll update ASAP!


	4. Chapter 3: The Wine

So I'm sitting at home thinking, "Hey, I could be writing another chapter right now!" So, I did.

I hope you all like it, I'm sorry for the wait. Thank you all for your "goodlucks" and great reviews, nothing is more heartwarming.

Chapter 3: The Wine

"Please. Introduce yourself." Tom suggested, making a gesture to the rest of the table.

"Um, Tom, I'm sure they already know me." I breathed out. I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath, "I mean, it's hard **not** to get attached to the person you interrogate and constantly try to kill." Sarcasm was a defense mechanism of mine.

"You mind your mouth, mudblood." Lucius Malfoy spat. It actually seemed as if he were going to keel over in anger.

Of course they wouldn't want me here, I thought to myself. I wasn't insulted nor frightened at the rest of the resentful faces glaring at me, it was to be expected. Refusing to make eye contact with them nor Tom, I was stuck resting my eyes on a content looking Bellatrix.

I don't know what her deal was, the crazy bug must have finally crawled out of her ass.

Her serene smiling face instantaneously turning into one of passionate animosity once Lucius chastised me. I guess I talked too soon.

"You should mind **yours**, Mr. Malfoy, before another incident occurs." Bellatrix growled, her eyes unwavering on his frozen form.

It was easy to point out that Bellatrix has authority over them. Maybe not political authority bestowed by Tom, but definitely an unspoken one.

"You're going to defend this..._thing_?" Yaxley interjected. His jaw was clenched hard, it didn't look too comfortable.

The "Bellatrix" that I was familiar with came out.

She threw her head back and cackled out an insane laugh. Her battle call.

Looking to my left, I lifted my eyebrows at Tom to see if he was going to do anything to put a stop to this before she hurt someone. Because, let's be honest, if they were to duel, hands down, Bellatrix would win..and slaughter.

He was leaned back, his hands folded on his lap with the look of a spectator on his face, petting Nagini's head. He seemed to be enjoying this, wondering what was going to happen next.

And, to be honest, I was too. Watching Bellatrix intimidate her peers was interesting, especially when the intimidation wasn't directed towards me. It was actually kind of cool to know that this crazy bitch was defending me, however illogical that sounded.

"A_ thing_? You call her...a _thing_?" She laughed again, then leaned towards him. "You are but a_ thing_. A speck of shit on this Earth. A sorry excuse for a wizard. The only reason we put you in charge of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is because you're a shitty dueler. No one wants to be put with someone as incompetent as a_ Yaxley_. You are but an undesirable, pawn. A_ thing_." She sat back.

Yaxley's eyes kept ping-ponging from Bellatrix to Tom, hoping for his interference. But, as I observed before, it wasn't much he was going to do in regards to Bellatrix's confrontation with 2 members of the Inner Circle.

Yaxley's face went red, then pallor. He avoided eye contact with everyone at the table, only setting his eyes on the wall. His chest was deflated, I guess a sucker-punch to the ego would do that; he looked much like how Lucius did after his own attack from the dark-haired witch.

"Now that the outbursts are done and over with.. and I do mean **over** with," Tom eyeballed each person seated at the table, even myself, "We can proceed with dinner and Ms. Granger will tell us about herself as we fill our bellies. Feel free to ask any questions" He smiled and clapped his hands twice, wine glasses, full wine glasses appeared in front of each setting; everyone's glass held different color wines.

"Each glass is filled with wine linked to one's own predilections. The perfect taste." He picked up his and took a sip. It was blood red.

The atmosphere of the table was still thick with tension, but Tom's smile and declaration had thinned it out a bit, at least for me.

However, Bellatrix was still giving the two angry men the death glare._ If looks could kill_, I thought.

"Bella, please leave the boys alone. All is forgiven." Tom ordered Bellatrix.

She snapped her head towards Tom,"My lord, please forgive me, but Lucius here just titled our guest a mudblood! That kind of degradation to a guest of the Dark Lord himself should be punished!" She threw. Her wild, tangled, black hair framing her face like a deadly glow.

"Bella, please. It's not that serious-" He tried again.

"Not that serious? It is only passable for you because you are not the one in the line of fire, my lord. Hermione is. She should decide what happens." Bellatrix spoke respectfully.

Wow. Hearing Bellatrix disregard of Tom's opinion and even telling him so really made me realize that Tom really was reasonable and quite casual. Definitely not the always-punishing leader that I learned of him to be.

She was grinning, looking at Tom, eager for his answer.

I hated to say it, but she was right. It's easy to wave something off when it doesn't affect yourself.

However, I didn't wish to punish anyone.

"Very well, then." He turned to look at me, "How do you wish for these brutes to be punished, Ms. Granger?" The residents of the dining room had their eyes locked on me.

My mouth opened and closed multiple times, trying to begin to explain my position on the matter.

"I..um..nothing." I finally got out. "I don't want anyone to be punished. Just…" I looked at both Yaxley and Lucius, "Just please refrain from speaking that way with me in the room. I don't care what you say when my back is turned, I'd just rather not hear it...please." I looked back to my plate and picked up my fork, ready to eat.

Bellatrix let out an exasperated sigh, crossing her arms, "And here I thought that there was going to be someone I could have fun with." She jutted her bottom lip out like a child.

Tom laughed at her behavior, "Oh Bella, you and your thrills." He picked up his spoon and put some toad warts on his plate. They resembled peas, but larger, lumpier, and multiple shades of green. Not my favorite, but by the way Tom was shoveling them, they were his.

"All are dismissed excluding Bellatrix and Ms. Granger." He never looked up, just kept pouring more warts on his plate, "When you learn to be respectful of guests, you all may return. I mean, what is life without hospitality. Goodnight, gentlemen."

I immediately heard the "poofs" of apparition. The space to my right empty.

It was just Tom, Bellatrix, and I left at the table.

Bellatrix uncrossed her arms and gave Tom a smile, taking her knife and stabbing it into the long, thick black meat that sat steaming in the middle of the table. I never saw this kind of meat before, the Hogwarts cafeteria kind of stuck to the normalities, like wild hog or chicken.

I didn't know where to start, there was so much to choose from. And half of the dishes were unknown to me.

"Here, give me your plate, love." Bellatrix ordered, her hand already out, waiting.

"Oh, okay." I handed her my plate, her smile catching my eye.

Well, not necessarily the smile, but her teeth. They were...normal. Straight and pearly white.

I swear to Merlin that the last time I saw Bellatrix, in Malfoy Manor, they were crooked, rotted, and chipped. Brown and yellow. Not..this. It definitely enhanced her beauty, that was for sure.

Bellatrix Lestrange was always beautiful, but more in that crazy ex-girlfriend kind of way.

Her straightened teeth gave her more elegance, now she was beautiful in that deadly sweet way.

"They are lovely, are they not?" She spoke without taking her eyes off of the food she was piling on my plate. She ran her tongue over her teeth. "It's all part of the...surgery."

Bellatrix handed me my plate back. It was heavy and full of almost every steaming dish on the table.

"Yes, they are Mrs. Lest-"

"Black." She corrected, sitting back in her seat. "Rodolphus is dead."

"I'm sorry for your lose, it's never easy losing a loved one." I comforted.

She threw her head back, "Oh child, don't be sorry, I killed him myself." I froze, my eyes widening. Was she joking? "I never loved that slimy git, I was counting down the days to be able to end him. Bugger couldn't even give me a bloody child. Good riddance, I say." She lifted her wine glass taking a gulp from it. Her wine was white, almost greenish.

"A true black widow." I commented, lifting my own glass, shocked to see that it didn't look much like wine at all. It was black, completely black. And thick. I sat it back down.

Bellatrix giggled, showing off her teeth again. "Why thank you, love." She cut a piece of the black meat she was cutting earlier, "Mmmmm, I love dragon's tongue. I put some on your plate, please do get around to trying it. It's delicious. And you do need some meat on your bones, you're not going to last through this winter." She chewed.

"Tom did say something of your surgery earlier. It's cosmetic, I presume?" I put a piece of the dragon's tongue in my mouth. It was glorious. The richness of the juice and the texture of the meat, so exquisite. Definitely a new favorite.

Tom chuckled, "Good isn't it. I'm sure you've never had the luxury of Dragon's tongue before, it's very rare and in that matter very expensive. A real delicacy."

"It's amazing, thank you." I replied, eating more.

Bellatrix swallowed, "About the surgery, yes, it's cosmetic, but is also for health. My teeth are only the immediate effects, you just wait until tomorrow." Another sip of wine.

"What happens tomorrow?" I asked curiously.

"Everything." She replied ominously, her smirk drawing attention to her full blood red lips.

I picked up my glass again, deciding to try it. It was altered to be specifically for me anyway.

I smelled it, it was sweet. Not berrylike of grape-like, just….sweet.

"I do hope you taste your wine, ." Tom suggested, gesturing to the glass in my hand.

"Yes, please do." Bellatrix seconded, "These wines not only for taste, but for understanding."

"Understanding what?" I inquired.

"Yourself." She took a sip of her own light wine, "The color, the texture, the taste. It all symbolizes your desires, even the hidden ones."

"Oh?"

Tom pet a resting Nagini's head, chewing whatever he was eating.

"Yes, for instance, my wine is light, sparkling, tangy. The lightness in color and texture shows that I desire lucidity with challenge. The tanginess, surprise and unpredictability. Someone who loves me for me but doesn't let me walk all over them. Someone who always has me on my toes. But someone with a light soul." Her eyes were unwavering, sinking into my own. Those dark pools almost drowning me in them.

Tom cleared his throat, "Ms. Granger, would you please pass me the beetlebread?"

Thankful for a relief from the intensity, I turned and grabbed the wicker basket full of bread and handed it to Tom.

Who would have thought that one day I would be at a dinner table with Voldemort, passing him bread and having a non-threatening conversation with Bellatrix Black?

"Hmm, so..what does mine mean? If you don't mind telling me."

"You must taste it first." She kept eating, refilling her plate.

I hesitantly held the glass, then took a sip from it.

It had the consistency of melted chocolate and the sweetness of it too. But with subtle hints of...pomegranate or honeyberries, I think. The sip turned into gulps and the gulps turned into downing it's entirety.

Why I was ever hesitant, I don't know.

I sat the glass down, it immediately refilling...and I immediately emptying it again.

"Delicious huh?" Bellatrix smiled.

"Well, don't leave us hanging." Tom commented, "What did it taste like?"

I informed them, not able to quit taking more sips as it refilled and refilled and refilled.

"Very interesting." Tom said, laying down his fork, his plate clear.

"Very interesting indeed. Never would have guessed such a light-souled person as yourself would have such dark desires." She rested her chin on her folded hands, leaning over the table, her deep cleavage on display. It was hard not to look.

I wasn't a lesbian or anything, as far as I knew. Looking at women's breasts and noticing the fullness of their lips and getting...lost..in..their eyes...

I cleared my throat and looked down at my plate, shoving food into my mouth to get my mind of the nasty thoughts on my mind.

This was Bellatrix goddamn it! I couldn't have these thoughts...could I?

"The darkness in color shows that you have dark desires, as I said before. The...thickness means that richness is an important quality. Purity." That definitely had me choking on my food.

"Purity?! But..but I'm a muggleborn. How? How could I want purity?" It didn't make sense.

She shrugged, "It's your innermost desires, not mine. I only give outlines, the specifics are your job."

"Please, Bella, continue, this is very entertaining." Tom sat back.

"You wish for darkness, for purity, but you also wish for affection, undying, unconditional affection. I don't blame you after what Crazy Old Dumbledore and his band of blood traitors did." She took another sip of wine. "The sharpness of the subtle fruit shows you wish for challenges, but nothing that you can't handle. And lastly, the way you kept downing it, well that's obvious enough." She finished.

"I don't understand? 'Obvious enough'? What's obvious enough?" I was so disquisitive, I couldn't get enough. My eyes were locked with her orbs, swimming in her every word, in her every breath. Every lip movement hypnotizing.

"Why, child, how do you not understand an aphrodisiac when you've just consumed 5 glasses of it?" What? "You desire sexual satisfaction. Of the..darker nature." She sat back in her seat, a small grin worn on her face, "Seems that we have a lot more in common than I earlier thought." She winked.

My nipples were standing for attention. My thighs squeezed together for relief of the heat. My thoughts clouding.

I wasn't sure if it was the 5 glasses of alcoholic aphrodisiac I had drank, but I was sure that Bellatrix Black was coming on to me.

And I couldn't find it in myself to be repulsed.

Only really, really wet.


	5. Chapter 4: The Walk to My Room

My son was born on January 30th, 2014. His name is Jackson, 5 lbs 6 oz, he's an angel. Doesn't cry much, sleeps very well for only being 9 days olds, so I thought that while he's sleep, I could give everybody a chapter. I missed writing.

Thank you all for bearing with my and all the kind words towards my pregnancy and birth. It all went smoothly.

Well here goes!

Chapter 4: The Surgery

I lied in the large bed, staring at the high, cathedral ceilings, pondering my life and if there was any truth behind it.

What else did the Order lie about? Was everything a fabricated story to guarantee compliance? Was the Order even the "good guys" in this whole war? And if so, what made them better?

_Them_.

I guess I really wasn't an Order member anymore, especially if it flowed so easily to see them as separate from myself. It was unbelievable how something that I once sat close to my heart was the exact opposite now.

The real pain of it all not only came from learning the truth, but learning that what I spent a good portion of my life trying to achieve wasn't even valid. All of those cold, hungry nights spent looking for Horcruxes and obliviating my parents, the only people who truly loved me for me, was nothing but a waste. All of the energy, the time, the fierce determination that I gave to the Light was but worth the shit I wiped from ass. The "Light" was now dimmer than the Dementor's Kiss, a punishment fitting for the lot of them.

I felt the warm tears slide from the corners of my eyes onto the silk pillowcases beneath my head. I was sure it had to be soaked by then, I had been crying as soon as I lied down long enough to really think about everything.

Sighing, I rolled over onto my side, looking into the darkness that the canopy provided.

The room was very luxurious, nothing that I've ever had the chance to experience before. It sure beat the makeshift home that were the breezy tents I slept in in the forest, terrified of an attack. And it definitely beat the hard, gravelly cell of the late Antonin Dolohov's dungeon.

This was pure heaven, or however close as I could get.

The entirety of the room was a luxury, not just the godly bed.

The walls were book shelves filled with all kinds of information that even the Restricted Section of Hogwarts didn't hold. Books that I've never heard of, filled with knowledge that I never dreamed to know.

I had planned on immediately diving into the assortment when I discovered my room, however my condition when I arrived was not one that could retain any new finds.

I huffed, rolling onto my back, the onslaught of different, more recent thoughts corralled in my rouge mind.

Bellatrix was a novel in herself. She, a book that never ended with a plot constantly morphing, was what my itching brain wished to figure out. To read every chapter of her, to feel her enigmatic pages under my fingertips as I soaked in every memory, every feeling, every thought, every heartbeat.

I've convinced myself that the only reason that Bellatrix couldn't leave my mind was because I was a bookworm with an intense thirst for knowledge, for understanding.

I was **not** attracted to Bellatrix Black, sexually or otherwise.

I did** not** wish to feel her smooth, porcelain skin under my caress.

I **never** wondered what her lips would feel against my own.

Or her enticing whisper floating past my ears like a sensual promise. Bellatrix wasn't the type to** try**, she wasn't the sort to** attempt**. Bellatrix was an executor, in more ways than I could ever begin to comprehend at this time.

It was easy to tell that my time here was not one that was going to flow easily. Not from Tom's expectations or my subconscious severing of my Order membership, but from Bellatrix and whatever it was that caused the mere thought of her to wreak havoc on my body.

It had to be magic, yes, she had to have put some kind of spell on me, or maybe a love potion in my wine. It had to be so, because there was no way that someone that I saw as a insane, murderous Death Eater yesterday was a my very own sex goddess tonight. My thoughts were near worship.

Sighing again, I rolled onto the opposite side, pushing my hair behind my head as to keep it from my eyes.

Did this mean I was a lesbian?

I mean, I was a virgin. I never touched Ron, even with his immutable pursuits. If anything, his constant touches and compliments pushed my as far from his bed as possible.

The only reason I kissed him was because I thought I was going to die and didn't want to die alone. The only reason he kissed me was because he didn't want to die a virgin, thank God it never progressed.

I mean, I wasn't_ prude_; well, not intentionally. I wanted to experience the pleasures that was sex, I just never found someone who I deemed worthy enough of giving myself to.

I knew I was brilliant, so giving myself to someone as sloppy and goonish as Ron was an insult to myself. I knew I had value, so giving myself to a pawing Viktor Krum, who had the intimacy of a caveman, was a goddamn slap in the face. No, I didn't** think** I was lesbian, just unmatched with the opposite sex.

If I wasn't a lesbian, why does my clit throb everytime I think of her voluptuous breasts? Of her plump behind? Of her perfectly seductive lips? Of her entrancing hips that rocked to the slow lulling steps that she took?

Did I ever think of Ginny this way? That was a definite no. She was purely platonic when we were friends. Did I ever look a Mrs. Weasley this way? I mean, Bellatrix is an older women.

God, no.

Maybe...maybe it was just her. Just her composition, which was unique and flavorful.

No, that couldn't be.

As I said before, I was** not** sexually attracted to Bellatrix Black. Only...interested.

I wonder if her thoughts were anything like mine? Bellatrix was so composed and in control, it was hard to see if she had any of the same reactions as I did. Was it even possible?

I tried to close my eyes, attempting to force sleep. I had been tossing and turning in this bed for hours, the same thoughts cycling.

I couldn't get the memory of little exchange in the hallway earlier out of my head. Too many questions that filled every space.

_"Follow me, love." Bellatrix drawled, her eyes heavy. She had already began walking from the dining room, her back to me._

_My mouth went dry as the sight of her black, satin dress slid across her curved behind, every step amplifying the shape. The long, tight dress fit her perfectly, like a second skin._

_She looked back at me over her shoulder, her wild tangles partially covering her cat-like eyes, making her look like a demon...or a goddess, I wasn't sure._

_Her red lips with into a smirk, "Please." She held the "s" like a siren._

_I jumped from my seat, quickly appearing beside her, not a word spoken from my mouth._

_Tom had left a little earlier, after reiterating that Bellatrix was to be my keeper until his trust for me was infallible. He ordered Bellatrix to take me to my room so I could rest. Tom had told me that I had one week of relaxation and adjustment before I was expected to begin my training...which was also with Bellatrix._

_We walked up a grand staircase, her explaining to the portraits who I was and why I was there. I wasn't to involved in the conversations, not able to rip my gaze from her her hips and bum. A slit ran up the back of her dress exposing her long legs. For a woman in her late 40's, she had a tightness to her that screamed "Touch Me!"_

_The gave a small small to the portraits whenever I heard a greeting, to choked to use my voice._

_As we walked down the hall, she told me about the manor._

_"Isn't the Riddle Manor so much more glamorous than Malfoy's?" She glanced at me. Her voice light and inquisitive._

_"Considering that I've never been tortured here, I'd say an affirmative." I joked. I glanced back at her, now that we were side-by-side, I was too nervous to really look at her fully, fear that she would catch that my eyes were not looking her face, but downcast._

_She let out a tinkle of a laugh, sounding much like a young girl._

_"Yes, I'd presume that much. I'm sorry about that, by the way. You were the enemy then." She gave me an apologetic smile._

_"And a mudblood." I added unitentionally. The words had just been falling from my mouth most of this evening._

_"Well, yes, but you'll always be a...muggleborn. The only difference now, though, is that you are on our side. Voldemort's side." It was odd her Voldemort in place of Tom. It was amazing how a genocidal dictator could turn into a casual dining buddy so quickly._

_I soaked in what she said. So, what was all the "mudblood this" and "mudblood that" all about? Why was blood supremacy so important._

_"I know what you're thinking, you should use occlumency more often, your thoughts have been practically screaming at me all evening." This made my blood run cold._

_'All evening." She said. Did that mean….? My face immediately went up in flames, I looked down, avoiding her piercing gaze that befell my curls._

_"Blood supremacy is just a side note, really, in the grand scheme of things. Yes, we are not to fond with letting...muggleborns run loose, however, they are magical, and that is everything. Our real problem is the hindrance that the ministry puts on our power to protect filthy muggles, no offense." We went up a spiral staircase, then down a few more halls, " We don't believe we should have to hide our powers, why is it that we have to be hidden? Why not coexist? The same with magical creatures. Why shouldn't Fenrir and his pack be able to receive treatment at St. Mungo's or receive any legal rights? Because they have fur and tails? They're magical! They are as much entitled to their rights as any witch or wizard? And muggles have ran the world long enough. There's more of us than there is of them, why can't we rule for a few millenia? If it means a couple million wizard and muggles have to die, then so be it." She finished. He wild gestures and raising voice finally signalling her passion on the subject._

_I found myself astounded. Did they really care about all magical creature? Did __**Bellatrix**__ really care about magical creatures?_

_"Oh." Was I could think to say._

_"Yes, oh. I presume the bloody Order didn't tell you that, did they?" She snarled._

_I wasn't frightened by her snarl, only understanding of it._

_It had to be upsetting knowing that everyone thought you as crazy and genocidal because a couple people said so._

_"Just more the Order lied about." I breathed._

_Bellatrix eyes showed pity, "I'm truly sorry for the way you were treated. The Order lies and uses people for their own gain, just another reason to get rid of them. No one should have a veil over their eyes. One should see exactly what they're getting into and have the choice whether or not to plunge into it. Like Tom, he told us first the horrible things that could happen. That we would die, watch our families die, sacrifice our lives for the cause and nothing but. That I could be captured, tortured, and raped until my brain was scrambled and my bowels were hanging from my ass." She was solemn, "The Order didn't warn you. They just sat their and pulled your strings, keeping you oblivious to the lecherous hands that could come at any time. And__** that**__ is why I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you were fighting the whole war blind. No one deserves that."_

_My throat was burning and my eyes were stinging._

_I didn't deserve that. I was insured over and over that I wouldn't be touched, that I was safe if I followed plan. But here I am with the memories of being crucio'd by Bellatrix and the vivid gutwrench of my time under the hands of Dolohov._

_"Thank you." I whispered._

_The rest of the walk held conversation that was a lot more cheerful, Bellatrix was good at changing the mood, even if I did notice it. We talked of where we wanting to visit, what we wanted out of life, everything. If you couldn't already infer, Riddle Manor was a huge labyrinth._

_"I've always wanted kids." Bellatrix shocked me._

_"Really, children?" I replied, the surprise evident in my tone._

_She chuckled, "Of course. I wanted as many as my body could handle. Do you want kids some day?" She asked._

_"Well. I suppose. I never really thought of it before." And I hadn't. I had to get to the part of me actually settling down and having sex with someone, and I would never find someone good enough._

_"That's too bad. You would be a beautiful mother. And probably even more so pregnant." She looked me in the eye, a sparkle shining there, "Pregnancy can do miracles to a woman, and curses, but..true beauty is in a woman ripe with child." Her voice was, again, light, but serious._

_I could imagine Bellatrix pregnant or as a mother, though I was sure she'd be lovely as she already was._

_"Why didn't you have any children, Bellatrix? You said something earlier of Rudolphus not be able to give you any?" I inquired, curious why the woman that seemed so enthusiastic about the miracle of birth never gave birth._

_She sighed, "We tried, all the time. I didn't what it was, but I just wouldn't get pregnant. I would be a hysterical mess for weeks at a time every time a test came back negative. I took potions and elixirs, had spells casted, everything, but nothing. After 5 years of trying, I find out that Rudolphus was sterile, and he was too ashamed to tell me." She let out a disgusted snort, "If he would have just told me...I wouldn't have had to go through all of that. " She looked to down. "I apologize for throwing all of this on you. There's not many women here, so there's a lot that I've never had a chance to vent about."_

_My heart went out to Bellatrix. It's not easy to feel like a failure in the one way that no woman should ever be. And it was definitely horrifying that she had to go through the years of feeling such over and over and over again. Only to find out that it was her husbands deceit the entire time._

_I shook my head, "Don't feel sorry, I'm glad that you feel that you could share this with me. I'm deeply sorry that that had happened. If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just find someone else to have children with? I mean, if sperm was the only issue."_

_"I was very young when this all happened, 17 when I married and 23 when the cat got out of the bag. During these years, Tom was becoming very powerful. Though he had requested many times for me to join him, I wouldn't do it." She sounded very nonchalant about her life, "Enlisting in a war means sacrifice, and at the time, I wasn't about to sacrifice motherhood. But when Rudolphus' lies came to light, I was so angry and I wanted to murder him," Bellatrix laughed, "Tom had came to me again, offering me the vengeance that I itched for, without any repercussions, if I did as he asked. So, I did. I got to kill Rod, but I was too immersed in all of this that I never got back around to having children."_

_This slice of Bellatrix was very interesting. I couldn't hold myself back from the questions and my curiosity. How many years have I wished that I could see into the crazy woman's mind?_

_Granted she's not dangerously crazy towards me anymore, but she definitely was dangerously crazy, and I could bet that what Rudolphus allowed to happen was her turning point. And she snapped._

_"So, why don't you have kids now?"_

_"Well, I would rather not bring my child into the world in it's current condition. This era is no place for babies, especially not for the babies of Public Enemy #1." She had a good point, the Wizarding World was in shambles with hexes blowing in the wind and bodies dropping like flies._

_"So, after the war? You'll have children then, though, right?" I don't know why I was pushing the subject, I just knew that I wanted answers._

_Bellatrix laughed, "You're really interested in me having children aren't you?"_

_I was caught._

_My cheeks heated and I avoided eye contact._

_Bellatrix stopped walking and turned towards me, "Why__** are**__ you so interested?" Something changed in her playful voice, it was less playful and more..lustful. Her eyes went half-lidded, dark, and glassy. She walked towards me, so close already, I subconsciously stepped back….and back...and back as she progressed. "Do you wish to__** aid**__ me in the process?" The sexual undertones were obvious as the little glint in her eyes twinkled._

_I felt smooth, hard wood hit my back, stopping me. If Bellatrix ever looked scary before, she topped it right now._

_Not because I thought she would hurt me, no. Her predatory stalking was sexy. Enticing, had my blood rushing to my head and to my nether regions. That's what was scary._

_The fact that she could elicit such feelings from me, such searing desire that I've never experienced before._

_"Women can't reproduce with other women"_

_My heart was beating against chest, the thumps rapid and loud in my ears._

_Bellatrix was so close to me that I could feel her hot breath, I could smell the shampoo of her hair, I could feel her heat lingering from her skin like a fog._

_"I can teach you some spells." She smirked._

_She was so close that she was all I could see. My hazel eyes directly in her black ones, searching, searching for something for anything. Something to understand what this was, if these feelings were mutual and if they were valid._

_"Did you know that out of the world's bodies of water, on 6% have been explored?" I randomly blurted. __**Shit**__, I thought. I was so nervous that I was spurting out random facts. I've only ever did this when I was nervous, an embarrassing idiosyncrasy that I couldn't shake. I never bit my nails or grinded my teeth, I took the nerdy way out and gave out information._

_Bellatrix's lips curled into a smirk and she rolled her eyes. She moved in closer, our bodys molding together. Her soft breasts to my breasts, her stomach against my stomach, her hips against my hips._

_We were both panting, I stayed as still as possible, scared to move._

_I could feel her own fast heartbeat against my chest, it was good to know that she was just as excited as I was. Except her excitement came from anticipation, whereas mine came from anxiety. Not that I was anticipating her moves, only that I was less confident._

_If we were to do this, whatever__** this**__ ended up being, would it last? Would she go back to her blood superiority ways and call me a mudblood? I just didn't want to get hurt by anyone. I'm so sick of being used for others intents, what about my intentions? What about love? Don't I deserve love?_

_"You do deserve love." She whispered, her words hitting my lip with every syllable. Her eyes, though lustful, held thought, "But don't I also deserve love?"_

_I looked down at her ruby lips and back to her eyes, nodding._

_Her smirk turned into a genuine smile._

_And that's when Bellatrix and I had our first kiss._

_She pressed her full lips against my own. I gasped in surprise, but quickly adjusted to the new onslaught of sensations that she attacked my mouth with._

_It was soft, it was hard, it was heavy, it was passionate, it was forbidden, it was right, it was__** us**__._

_I pushed my hands against her shoulders, pushing her back, "Wait, wait." I said breathless, my eyes heavy. "Bellatrix, I'm not..I'm not a lesbian." I rushed, out of breath._

_Bellatrix concerned face immediately was one of play._

_She shook her head, "Shut up." And pressed her lips back onto mine._

_I was warm all over, throbbing and weak. Soaring and grounded at the same time._

_The hands that were on her shoulders wrapped around her neck, pulling her closer. Her silk hands traveled to my waist, then my back, and then finally resting on the cheeks of my ass._

_I moaned as the warmth made contact, her reciprocating it as I deepened the kiss._

_Her tongue was dancing the battle with my own, both fighting for dominance. It's obvious who the winner was._

_It was odd what my body was doing. How was I still standing? My knees felt like jelly._

_I couldn't open my eyes if I tried. They felt as if they were lead, so heavy with lust and promise._

_I melted into the kiss._

_She pulled back from the kiss, my lips immediately following hers, trying to find the warmth again._

_Bellatrix chuckled, "I'm glad that you like me, too. I was a bit scared for a second there."_

_This was a shock, Bellatrix was nervous about __**me**__ rejecting__** her**__?_

_My breathing was heavy, I couldn't catch my breath._

_She squeezed my ass in her hands hard, causing me to let out an odd mix between a squeal and a moan, sending a tingle to my pulsing sex._

_"Go to sleep, love." She said, pecking my lips one more time before apparating._

_The wall behind me fell open, almost making me fall to the marble floors._

_Turning around, I discovered a dark mahogany door opening the way to a beautiful room, my room if the "Hermione" carved in the wood meant anything._

_The books called to me, but I had to energy to read them or even look at the title._

_I closed the door behind me and ran to the bed, lying down, looking to the high ceilings for answers._

And that's how I arrived here.

"I'm a lesbian." I said aloud in the darkness. "Or at least for Bellatrix Black, I am."


End file.
